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November 11th, 2019


I started my adventure with ayahuasca not by any kind of extraordinary psychedelic, visionary experience, but as concrete physical healing, one not separable however from intellectual and emotional understanding. I had stones in my kidneys and associated pain while pissing, during nearly whole winter, in period that separated two first ceremonies and then until I went to Brasil. Finally, there in the jungle, standing in toilet, watching rain pouring outside, I realized that I am urinating without any problem, just as the rain in front of me.


That flow, circulating movement, is life. When it is broken for some reason, when the circle is not complete, when our blockages, stiffness, our lifestyle choices affect it, decay and degeneration begins. There is no flow in death, no juices running in dry stick.


Same thing applies to any nature, the one in us and the one “on the outside¨ alike, this is for example why often great wave of purge runs through the ceremony, pushing people down to their buckets, right when long accumulating throughout the evening clouds finally burst with tropical rain.


We go through same circular journey, harvesting, smashing, cooking hundreds of liters of murky brew, then concentrating it, drinking in the night and puking it out with what needs to be purged, emptying those buckets afterwards under trees where new vine grows.


Some have it hard. Having read a lot before coming here, they are suprised to have several ceremonies without vomiting, without visions appearing. The block is strong in a culture so focused on strenghth and fixed truths rather than surrender and flexibility.


Now the dry season should already be over. And yet our tanks are empty, water shortage, distruption in the cycle. We have giant pots of ayahuasca drying out, waiting to be cooked, and no water coming. In the time of climate change, the ones to first feel its effects are those who live like us, in tune with elements, not sheltered from them by brute force of money and machinery, petrol and pumps, able to postpone the direct consequences.


This happening in the very same period in which we are supporting indigenous Achuar communities fighting consequences of petrol contaminating their waters ( https://web.facebook.com/notes/psychonauta-foundation/to-give-back-petrol-contamination-in-amazon/2451079018477235/ ) shows us clearly, Standing Rock is here too, and it is coming to you. It also shows again the meaning of the medicine work.

If you are able to see that and do the work in the internal universe within you, you will have no doubt what matters in the world out there.




In this story about Santo Daime you may find lots of philosophy and mysticism, which can be hard to digest, so here is some concrete stuff for a change for those alergic to new age talk. Last autumn, after another year in arid, hot desert lands, I developed, what a surprise, sand in my kidneys. Of course it is my mind connecting everything with everything that makes this narrative of travelling in deserts being related to sand inside, but to be honest, modern medicine knows very little why this quite common and painful problem occurs. In fact, modern medicine knows very little about reasons why these pieces of machine , as it sees human body,  get broken. In this case, it also knows little how to fix it. I have in my family some connections with high ranking doctors, that help in getting through fucked up medical system, but none of them could help with the problem itself, and apart from pain coming on and off in random moments, pissing became bigger and bigger issue. I tried different things, including expensive hospital machines that go “beep”, but all these doctors could say is they don’t know if, when and how I can solve the problem. To give you idea how painful it can be, some women who experienced both sand in kidneys and childbirth say they prefer the latter.




W tej historii o Santo Daime znajdziecie dużo filozofiii i mistycyzmu, który może byc trudny do strawienia, więc teraz dla odmiany trochę konkretów dla tych uczulonych na new-agowe gadki. Ostatniej jesieni, po kolejnym roku włóczenia się po suchych, gorących i pustynnych krainach, dorobiłem się, co za niespodzianka, piasku w nerkach. Oczywiście to mój łączący wszystko-ze-wszystkim umysł buduje taką narrację w której jest jakiś związek między piaskiem w środku a tym ze środowiska jakie mnie otacza, ale bądźmy szczerzy, współczesna medycyna niewiele może powiedzieć o przyczynach tego bolesnego i dość powszechnego problemu. W istocie, współczesna medycyna niewiele może powiedzieć o powodach dla których psuje się większość z trybików tej maszyny, jak postrzega ona ciało. W tym wypadku, niewiele wie także jak ten akurat trybik naprawić. W mojej rodzinie mam nieco kontaktów między wysoko postawionymi doktorami, którzy mogą pomóc w prześlizgnięciu się przez popieprzony system opieki zdrowotnej, ale żaden z nich nie mógł pomóc rozwiązać problemu, nawet ordynator urologii, i poza bólem pojawiającym się w nerce w przypadkowych momentach, każde sikanie stawało się dużym wyzwaniem. Próbowałem różnych rzeczy, wliczając w to drogie i nowoczesne lasery które robią “bip”, ale wszyscy ci doktorzy przyznawali że nie wiedzą czy, kiedy i jak zakończy się sprawa. Aby dać pojęcie jaki to może być ból ( chociaż mój nie był aż taki ), niektóre kobiety które doświadczyły zarówno piasku w nerkach jak i rodzenia dzieci twierdzą że wolały to ostatnie.




And then I went to Amazon, land of flux, ever flowing water. The sound of water was everywhere, every day, streams, rivers, rain, day and night. And I drunk a lot of ayahuasca, the medicine of the forest, and the problem was gone just like that. Now go and find your rationalist explanations, I don’t think I need.



I wtedy pojechałem do Amazonii, krainy przepływu, wciąż płynącej wody. Dźwięk wody był wszędzie, każdego dnia, strumienie, rzeki, deszcz, dzień i noc. A ja piłem dużo ayahuaski, lekarstwa z lasu, i problem zniknął, ot tak. Teraz idźcie i szukajcie swych racjonalnych wytłumaczeń, ja nie sądzę abym tego potrzebował.









Kumbh Mela / Święto Dzbana

January 26th, 2013



Kumbh Mela means Festival of the Pitcher , and it is largest human gathering on earth. Millions of pilgrims meet on the banks of holy rivers and water is for them not only essential here for such multitudes, but simply a sacred thing.





Kumbh Mela oznacza Święto Dzbana, i jest to największe ludzkie zgromadzenie na ziemi.  Miliony pielgrzymów spotykają się na brzegach świętych rzek i woda jest dla nich nie tylko niezbędna ale po prostu święta.











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