It is perhaps one of many paradoxes of psychedelic use, that what conservative majority within our societies considers as drug escapism into hedonism, and away from duties and commitments of the world, can often lead – and it has led in my experience, to quite conservative view of life and values. It is not angry fanaticism however, rather is accompanied by acceptance of other paths and options – while pursuing simplified, quieter version of previous, greedy life. In my case, a trade off from solitary adventures, devouring the world in form of exotic, extravagant adventure and millions of pixels accumulated in my memory and camera, being everywhere, and wanting ever more, and yet not fulfilled, now left behind and exchanged for simplicity of family life, modest nest, in very rustic conditions of a backward middle-of-nowhere corner of Amazon forest.

I would lie if I said that looking through years worth of accumulation of stories and photos on this blog does not evoke some kind of nostalgia for the road, other lands where grass is if not greener, at least different. But one enduring lesson from the vine of death, even if at times we try to suppress it, is about mortality. I see clearly that greed of the world, no matter whether consumed in form of material goods or experiences, is a manifestation of underlying deeper anxiety about inevitable end of it all being quite near. The solution, again and again life shows to us, is never forward, faster, more, but actually less. We can not have all the women of the world, all the money, all alternative career paths. We may as well learn as soon as possible, that it applies to all aspect of life, and just we find happiness with that particular person, so let’s try to find peace in that particular place, ability and flaw we are given. Surrender, hardest of victories, to be gained daily, isn’t that the teaching of Christ refusing temptation of the world in his 40 days retreat to the desert?

To me, it does not mean that the world is evil, and that Satan is its owner, it means that unreined desire for it is hell in itself.

“I give tanx for life. Never will I be ungrateful.

I give tanx for life.  Even if my days are dreadful”

When the clouds come, there may be a time when it feels like you have nothing to share, that you can’t pour from an empty vessel. It ain’t never empty though, hard times also pass, patience pays off, and even when I don’t feel it, I chant the hardship away, like my mother did, like all the shamans do, it is that simple, keep on chanting. Zikr, remembering, when things are hardest, until time comes when one feels IT again.

Celebrate life, yo. You know what <3 is the solution.

[ Poland - Belarus - Peru  /  Polska - Białoruś - Peru ]